If you are getting a divorce and have children, your children, no matter how much you protect them, are still going to feel the effects of your divorce in some ways. Here are three steps you can take to ease the burden of your divorce on your children.
#1 Work It Out Through Therapy With Your Spouse
If you and your spouse decide to get a divorce, that doesn't mean that you need to stop with couples therapy. Going to therapy as you go through your divorce can allow you to figure out how to move past the issues in your marriage and move onto a new phase in your relationship.
It can be a difficult transition to figure out how to view your former life partner as just your co-parent. You are going to have to negotiate new boundaries and establish new ways of communicating and coming together for your children. Going through therapy can assist with this process. It can be a long process, that extends past your divorce, but can really help your kids.
Your children need two parents who get along with one another and are there for them.
#2 Go To Family Therapy
In addition to going to therapy with your spouse in order to come together and move forward with your relationship, you should also attend family therapy. This can be a great opportunity for your kids to talk to someone about how they feel one-on-one and work on coming together as a family in group sessions.
Remember, this is an emotional transition with your children even if you and your former spouse are dedicated to co-parenting together.
#3 Work On A Beneficial Custody Arrangement
Finally, work with a family attorney together to come up with a beneficial custody arrangement. Try to create a custody arrangement that allows you as equal access as possible to your children and that works with both of your lives and your kids' life. If possible, work on creating a custody arrangement that is more flexible and open and allows for adjustments that fit with your family's full lifestyle.
If you are willing, you can also work a more flexible living arrangement, where you purchase and live in two houses next to each other or where one parent lives in a guest house and one lives in the main house so that your children can keep as stable a housing arrangement as possible. Not all divorces have to mean a complete separation if you are willing to work with your spouse to transition to co-parenting and co-living arrangement.
For more information and help with this difficult transition, contact a lawyer, such as those at DeSanto and Kellogg Law Office LLC.
