If you want a divorce but your spouse wants to save the marriage, you can be left in a very stressful situation. You may know that the marriage has ended, but that doesn't mean your spouse has come to the same conclusion. You could go out and file for divorce by yourself, but that's a good way to open up the floodgates to hostility and animosity, which is the last thing you want. You want your spouse to come to the same conclusion as you: that the marriage is over. If you can get your spouse to see things your way, you stand a better chance of ending the marriage amicably. If your spouse refuses to admit that the marriage is over, here are three steps you can use to help them understand your decision.
Start with a Couples Counselor
If you've hit a brick wall in your attempts to let your spouse know that you want a divorce, it's time to sit down with a couples counselor. You may think that couples counselors are there to help you save your marriage; however, that's not true in every case. Couples counselors can also help couples reach an amicable dissolution to their marriage. If you're having trouble explaining your decision to your spouse, your couples counselor can help you through the process. He or she can also help your spouse come to terms with his or her feelings over the dissolution of the marriage.
Validate Your Spouse's Feelings
If your spouse is fighting you over your decision to end the marriage, it's important that you validate his or her feelings. Your spouse needs to know that you understand both how he or she is feeling and that those feelings are valid. You've probably been contemplating divorce for quite some time. However, this may be all new to your spouse. Your spouse is going to need time to adjust to the changes and to come to terms with his or her own emotions. By validating your spouse's feelings and emotions, you're allowing the lines of communication to open up, which will help you proceed with an amicable divorce.
Enlist the Help of a Divorce Attorney
If you've been trying to get your spouse to understand your need for a divorce, but you're not getting anywhere, it's time to enlist the help of a someone who knows divorce law. Your divorce attorney can help you understand the options that might be available to you. They can also assist you with the paperwork once you decide to file for divorce.
